I think the "taking the pills" thing depends on your INTENT. I think it simply classifies as one of those dumb things in life that we ALL do (not an attempt or SH).

As for your T. I can kinda relate with your issue of them being the *cause* of some of your stress / need-to-SH. Only you will know the answer to this - but maybe you need a different T. Maybe this T is great at what they do, but their methods do not work for you. Maybe another T could work better without upsetting you so much.