Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgansangel
Thank you both.
Unfortunately CBT makes me worse, my therapist just left and I'm stuck on a year long waiting list for a new one 
Exercise makes me feel awful about myself and I get in dangerous OCD cycles with it I've not really any hobbies at the moment because my concentration span and motivation are so low. I try doing things like reading etc but it's like there's layers of my mind and that only occupies one layer while the others all tell me I should be cutting and they confuse me and then I get angry because I'm not taking in what I'm reading and that makes me angry with myself and hate myself more and the urge gets stronger. And it's often in the middle of the night so I can't go anywhere to distract myself, not that I leave the house much at the moment because of my anxiety
I've tried all the elastic band/ice cube/drawing with a red pen etc things but none of them work for me. They just focus me even more on the desire to do it. Guess I'm a freak. |
You're not a freak, I'm sorry none of those things work for you. I can completely understand them having the opposite effect than intended when your frustrated with yourself. I had to be on medication that actually helped, lifted my mood before I was able to start using coping skills. I hope that you can eventually somehow find something that helps you, whether that be medication, coping skills, or a combination of both.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type