My last day working was May 5th of this year. I received and processed the SSI/SSDI paperwork about a month ago. I saw the neurologist last Thursday about the tremors and still no diagnosis. He wanted MORE blood tests. I have already been diagnosed with DDD, Spinal Stenosis, Thoracic Outlet, Fibromyalgia, Bi-Polar w/severe anxiety and PTSD. Lately I feel like pulling the sheets over my head and never coming out. I saw a hand doctor last week the same day as the neurologist about my De'quervains syndrome in my thumbs and the trigger finger in both my ring fingers. He decided to do cortisone, so I ended up with four shots that were extremely painful and still is. I can't take much more of this. I've been seeing a mental health therapist once a week just to help me deal with all of this. There are so many things I could do just a year or six months ago that I cannot do anymore. I have hears so many stories of waiting for years to win a SS case and I don't know if I have the will or the capacity to fight. I have not been denied yet, but that fear looms in my mind constantly. I am living on $197 a month through the state and have no money for extras, like a little fun once in a while. I know I would never consider suicide, but lately I feel like I just don't want to be here anymore.
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"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water!" Eleanor Roosevelt
"Each of us is completely different from the other, and yet we judge ourselves and others as if we are all the same." Gruvingal
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