So I applied for a job at a university as a graduate student. Objectively, I am well qualified and highly motivated. In short, I want to be a college professor because 1) I love biochemistry, and 2) college nearly killed me, and I want to help undergrads get through it, and 3) I really love teaching. There is just one problem: I am totally nuts.

I went through about seven levels of hell - including an all night drive through rural Arkansas/Texas - in order to get to the interview. It has been two weeks today. They still haven't made up their minds. I was so mad, I almost emailed them to tell them that I was no longer interested in the position, which by the way, is a lie. I know....I am being completely impatient, immature, irrational, and basically, I am behaving like a child. I know. I'm sorry. But I am so frustrated! I've tried and tried and tried to find a "good" job. I worked on an oil rig, in a swamp collecting mud (seriously), in several restaurants, at an egg roll factory (I hate egg rolls now.), and construction. It just seems like the universe doesn't want me to succeed....(feeling sorry for myself, I know). And I swear, it is not really all about my ego. Of course some part of it is my selfish need to feel successful, but I did really and truly want to make some sort of contribution......I was so upset that I fell into some very maladaptive coping strategies - drinking excessively, self-harm, I ate a dozen cookies, etc...

Then I came here. And I found this community of genuinely caring, supportive people. I am so grateful for the support I've received.

But I'm just wondering: Do any of you feel frustrated like this? Like, I flipped a dude off in traffic today, and I don't usually do that....but he was driving an F250, and he was trying to mate with the back of my Jetta....Does anyone else feel like flipping off the whole world? Do you ever want to go to the top of the tallest building, and scream through a 15000 db PA system "What the F@%*????" Or is it just me?

Ok. I'm done. Thank you for letting me vent here.