That is what I do but with a nasty extra bit of torture: I make myself sick worrying about what eventually doesn't happen (telling myself I'm just preparing for worst case senario) and then get hit over the head with something equally or worse terrible that I didn't even see coming.

Like this lay off. I was totally unprepared for it. Never saw it coming.

Like my ex-bf telling his ex wife about us and implying I laughed at her when I never did, because he felt guilty for doing so and for us...and had to share so he'd feel better. So I had to break up with him.

Now I'm afraid of everything, worrying about everything..looking under every rock for the next thing....Happy? I don't know what that word means anymore and havent known since last year.