Alright so I'm 19 and I've had depersonalization/panic attack episodes since I was twelve years old. However I started medication one year ago and haven't had one since, except for this week. I smoked weed for the first time a few days ago and it seemed to come after, and I also drank quite a bit a few days before that, but I can't say that it's the cause of it, I don't know.

So I was in therapy today and suddenly I just spaced out. Not daydreaming. Just like, I had feelings that the world, that reality was not real. Everything started to have a very fake look to it. (I'm trying to describe it the best I can but it's hard.) ...I do not want to have panic attacks again. Thankfully I didn't. But I was definitely on the verge of one, I think. My breathing however never changed. I was sitting there, the therapist was talking, and it's like I was watching what was happening from an outside perspective, and didn't feel that I was myself... or inside myself... does that make sense.

I told her about this. She seemed to think it was because of what we were talking about. It wasn't, though. Not at all. It's just something that happened by itself. I dunno what I'm asking for, can anyone relate? Don't want my anxiety to come back... I'm so scared that it has.