Spent the weekend at a family wedding, it was very nerve wracking, I ended up taking a klonopin and zoning out in the middle of one gathering, embarassing. Just too many people, kids, noise. I'm not feeling very good, T thinks its the depakote, I feel like chucking the lot of meds and starting over but obviously that could just end up worse. Apparently depressions cause brain damage and my dr is trying to keep me from being depressed but honestly I feel depressed. I knew being manic wasnt good and I tried to get help but being low and feeling full of lead inside aint good either. Dang I hate this illness. I just dont know if I should call my dr this week or wait til I see her next Wed. Its not an emergency but it surefeels likecrap. I just hate walking in this fog.