Update time...
With in two weeks of leaving me the 18 year old is now his girlfriend...!which is just wrong it's the same age gap as between my son and the baby 12years... she is incredibly immature posting her whole life on fb including a post saying (he is mine) I find her quiet laughable,, she can't even see she's with a man that is having a serious break down and using her to help stop what he's really feeling / avoiding having to grow up.
As for the hubby I asked him if he wanted a divorce? he said he thinks it stupid to get a divorce after a short time away (implying his feelings may change) he said he's 80% sure he is never coming back.
I had our daughter two weeks ago she is amassing (and lucky I have so far avoided getting depressed which is shocking considering what has and is happening in my life.)
The Hubby behaved appallingly when I went in to Labour, starting an argument and literary walking out of the hospital, l had to call a friend in the middle of labour to come support me thank God we made those arrangement in case. He did make it back in time to see his daughter being born.
1week later I was rushed in an ambulance to hospital with heavy bleeding, he didn't even come to hospital. I had to have midwives come in on and off all night to lift my baby for me so I could feed her. He drove us home from the hospital dropping us on the doorstep and left.
He visits his daughter 5days a week spending no more than an hour then leaves he's "doesn't have time on the other days", and Heads back to the fantasy world he has created for himself, he can't even see that what he's doing.

I have been printing of evidence from fb and recording when he visits, calls and what has been said between us ready for if this ends up in divorce.
I still hope he will wake up stop seeing the girlfriend and want to come back to me, I know his relationship will fail with the girl, she is incredibly insecure understandably and his family would never accept her.
I don't know if he want one day to come back, if I could ever trust him but I think I would try I still love him, and if we could work it out and fall in love again it would be better than ending up with my son having another step dad one day and my daughter ending up with a step mum (especially if he doesn't grow up and keep picking girls like he's with right now..! Talk about screwing up your kids)
Any one going through something similar....? I would still like some support if any one can give some input/insight...?