My very new T (of 3 weeks) who I really like - pointed out to me that I don't seem to be angry with anyone about the sexual abuse in my life... in fact I don't see, to have much anger about any of the bad things that have happened to be by other people.

I'm devastated.... completely devastated...

I keep asking him why should be angry, it won't change anything, it won't make anything better, it isn't going to make anyone love me...

I'm angry with myself... I sometimes feel that if I hurt myself enough, I can finally forgive me.