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Old Oct 29, 2013, 09:06 PM
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bluemountains bluemountains is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,937
Hi Wildflowerchild,
I have been in the exact same place with trying to teach while battling quick cycling as my meds were being adjusted-pretty much the entire school year two years ago. It was absolutely awful, and I feel lots of empathy for you.
Some little things I found that helped-first, I "developed" a bad case of allergies as I tried to control crying days. I teach fifth graders, so maybe it was easier to hide for me.
Also, I had an assistant who I confided in so she could help me through. I asked her to monitor me during meetings because when the mania hit, I was loud and talked fast! Mania was not pleasant for me-it was pressure, stress, and irritation.
During the school day, I tried to give all of my energies to teaching, and would spend most of my crying time in the car. My students were the only people I could give everything to because they were kids and I would never allow them to suffer because of me.
Having said all of this, I ended up using all of my sick days that year to make it until the end. After that, I resigned that position because even if I would be well soon, I knew that the atmosphere might set me off again.
I am in another school now, still teaching fifth grade. My moments are minor now with my med regiment, but I still occasionally need a mental, breathing break. I use the elevator, the only place where I can find peace! I will travel up and down several times just to get some me time and try to pull myself together. I try a really brief meditation, trying to push all out of my mind. It helps my breathing and helps me to calm down.
Try to find as many little tricks as possible that work for you. Don't think too far ahead, just make it to the next minute. Also, I occasionally write down the things that the students say/do that make me smile. It is all mind control for me-I won't let the messed up part of my thoughts win!
Good luck and many hugs!
Bluemountains