These things are never black and white, and in my opinion when two people are meant to be together things work out.

When I met my Now husband he was drinking 24/7, he was going through a divorce, in the process of losing his job because he didnt bother showing up.

He was a complete mess. But I saw something in him, a spark of who he was and I set about helping and supporting him.It wasn't easy, I moved in with him after only 4 weeks, I would leave for work at 10am and phone him at 10:30 - no answer. He was having to sell his house as part of the divorce settlement and I could come home and find him gone and the estate agent waiting on the doorstep with potential buyers. I would have to phone round the pubs looking for him, and on one occasion when we were out together he got so drunk he started to strip in the pub. I just got his keys from his pocket and went home.

we were pregnant after 12 weeks together and my god it changed his life around. He got a new job, we moved and things have steadily gotten better over the years.

when our son was 8 he was Diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and it slowly dawned on us that Hubby had it too. Suddenly it explained everything in his past, especially the drinking. Some Aspies find it a lot easier to be sociable when they have a drink and this is where the problem starts.

I totally understand why his first wife left, she just didnt have the strength to cope with him, and believe me some days I totally feel that ! ( lol )

so I guess the question is ... do you see the real him anywhere and if so do you want to help him get through ? if you can't or don't want to ( and there is nothing wrong with that ) then you need to do both of yourselves a favour a move on. You deserve happiness and he has to find his own way to his.

I wish you the very best with whatever you decide