I'm talking with my therapist about this and I've come to realize I have some substance abuse issues. His advice to me was that I stop drinking and only hang out sober around those I trust. This is hard for me because I don't really trust many people and I've come to realize I have some substance abuse issues but I'm scared and I don't want to hurt anyone. I can't part with my weapons- they are too much a security thing for me but I trust myself to use them responsibly when I am sober so much as I hate to say it I guess I'm going to have to be sober. He also told me that I shouldn't be hanging out with guys period. I tend to get along with guys better because most my hobbies are more masculine things and it's harder to find girls with the same interests but I know they are out there. I made a few plans this weekend with some girls and while I don't feel comfortable going sober I'm going to do it. After all, how else can I get over social anxiety? And if I feel the need I can always leave. Wish I did have a bodyguard lol.