it's my personal belief that feeling emotional pain is a result of resisting change. it's a guide to our 'stiff' spots. empathy comes from having felt that pain oneself, and still feeling it, even if only through others. at some point, acceptance allows empathy to change into Compassion.

Compassion allows suffering to be OK, because it is leading us toward becoming a better person. some of us are much harder to lead than others, we cling to our pain as tho it was a life raft, when it is actually the waves. when we have Compassion, for another or even for ourselves, we may go thru difficulties, hard times, and even experience loss; but we don't anoint that with emotional suffering. Compassion says: "i feel you suffer, i have felt that myself, it is the universal teacher showing us the way to a better way."

of course this presupposes that one has found the way thru suffering oneself. and let me be clear, this is not often a revelation, in which, all in one day, suffering stops... it is like any other change, it must be practiced and practiced, at every opportunity, even while suffering, Especially while suffering ~!

i, too, find it too difficult sometimes to read what has happened to others, esp. if i have unresolved issues with something similar. but even so, i am determined to allow people to experience their pain with out my pity, or solicitude, or even empathy. i want them to know that pain may be unavoidable in this world, but suffering is optional.

i hope i have expressed myself with sufficient 'Compassion' to be perceived as caring, and not merely cold-hearted. as it is with a good parent, who allows a child to learn painful lessons in order to understand and grow, this is how i treat myself with Compassion. keep your joy close, but keep your pain closer: it is your best spiritual friend.

best wishes~
Gus