I understand how you feel.
Have you tried DBT?
Even if you haven't, a skill that you can try to practice even without experience in that area is called "Tolerate The Moment". Distractions like music and writing can help, but when they don't I'll allow myself to just kinid of imbrace the pain I'm feeling. To think obsessive thoughts and just sort of, winmill through it. Sometimes it can take a few days, but I found that it works well.
When talking about the skill "Tolerate The Moment" with my DBT therapist, he said that no matter how bad it seems in the moment that the intense feelings will past.
-Hugs-