well... that says it all in a word. What with my PTSD and ongoing battles with my own attorney, and trying to get help, and now I've added in checks into my bank account more than once and don't have it in the account, and the felon that threatened me and and and my fear level is off the scale!!!

Usually at this point I want to run away. (Most of us feel this way, I think) and I had plans to already... since they had scheduled a hearing and such for next week or two and it was sham so I made them cancel it and said I would be out of town....

so now all I really have to do is try not to allow all this anxiety get to me, all this fear of double checking my mirrors, my firearm, my doors, my alarms, my outside lights... my mail, my phone, my computer no less!....

and try to wait till I can run away for a while next week.... rats,,, if they have my phone tapped, now they know about that too....

my T assures me that nothing I am facing is new, that I have faced these issues before and came through.. but my ptsd won't allow me to see it at least not today

it is truly a bad fear day.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>