Maybe not being angry is a way of being in control of what happened to you? I know thats how it was for me. I felt that as long as I felt "ok" about it, then maybe it never really happened at all? or that I was fine with it really because it really wasn't that bad? It takes a long while to reach the real anger and it comes in stages, or it has for me.

The self forgiveness is another one for me also. I told my T once that I felt I needed a higher authority to forgive me, because my own self forgiveness meant nothing to me at that stage. Mainly because I still didn't have a strong sense of self.

I'm also surprised that your T would point out how he would be expecting you to feel. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that.

Take care with yourself!