It sounds like you do just want help and support. And that maybe youre having some rapid cycling or mixed episodes. It is possible to experience what youre experiencing, and you should see a specialist about it for sure, don't take what I say as a diagnosis. plenty of people with bipolar (and many other illnesses) feel alone because we feel like no one else is experiencing what we are going through, like no one can understand. ive found these forums to be very helpful with that. just make posts or respond to other people or participate in the chat rooms when your feeling alone; it helps me alot. who threatens to take your meds away? thats not good...just know youre not alone. i for sure feel like you do, and im sure others here on the forums do too. if youre feeling like jumping out of a window or other things like that you should call your doctor though.