I want to hear from people who experience RAGE....
I've been in a mixed, and feeling like a failure I'm going back on meds.

Pdoc might be able to get me in tomorrow - or I wait until Monday.... nice, right, pay full price, no insurance accepted for 5 + years, never asked for an urgent appointment from her ever, and she can't make time to see me urgently. Whatever that's life. Let the bp mom just go totally crazy and end up in hospital....

My question is this: Do you tell your pdoc or T about your Rage issues?

I'm scared to. I'm scared they'll make notes about me and send police to my house. I'm not planning on acting on it. Worst I've done was drive my car into a low old tree stump in my yard over & over thinking it would smoosh (it didn't), or breaking some dishes then cleaning them up, and I've smashed a couple guitars & thrown some lawn chairs in the bushes, oh yea and yelled at the nosey neighbors...

I'm full of rage I hate myself and this evil world. I want out. I have no "exit" plans. I have no plans to hurt anybody. But I'm suffering and think all these pissed off thoughts that won't stop. I end up holding my head crying thinking, wtf is wrong with me, I want them to leave me alone.

I do obviously have trust issues. And with good reason in my opinion. Anyone here who knows me well would agree it's good reason. Mostly having to do with watching my older 2 bp teens get 5150'd and hurt by police, when we were asking for help, that's the advice, you have to call police for help, and they're not always nice, not even close.

So ----- what can I tell pdoc about my irritability and rage? Is she going to report me? Take away my drivers license? Should I tell her how much I hate my life and I will grit my teeth so hard they might break off? That I don't give a hoot if this planet gets hit by that nearby comet? That I hate other drivers and traffic? I hate the world? I hate her for taking 2 days to call me back?