I gained insight, if you want to call it that when I realized I was going thru hell with my bf and wanted to figure out what was wrong with him! lol

Eventually, he admitted being dx with BPD which certainly explained a lot, but not enough...I read into NPD and that was the door that brought the sun that brought the shadow into my own mind. Because, I was just like him, only with him, more of my BPD came thru with the clingyness, fear of abandonment....but we lasted as long as we did because we fed each other.

Sounds weird, but being in love with him was like being in love with myself...because he constantly told me how great I was, laughed at my jokes..you name it. As I did him. And then it fell apart because he got what he wanted...freedom from a controlling wife, and I wasn't required anymore.

So after enough headgame hostility/kindesses...I said enough, and broke up with him. He's not in therapy, btw...and refuses to believe he's anything but semi-depressive (!!!) but I am....avoiding meds and trying to work on my own emotional things. Empathy is an issue with me, but I'm working on it....but dual lack and the emptiness that goes with BPD...it's been a challenge for sure.

Still, I get a 'peaceful, easy feeling'....knowing as a true NPD, it's bothering him to be without constant feeding....course I have to temper that by knowing he'll find someone else eventually. That kind of need (which we filled for each other for 12 years---'no one could understand us, no one could love like us' pffft) he's not about to leave unfilled for long.