I wondered what happened to you. Know I know . (Um there's suppose to be a smiley here, even though I clicked the picture several times.) Anyway,,,

Mental illness is very hard for some people to understand,and that's frustrating. What's worse is if people in our own family don't understand or refuse to try to understand.

When I read your post, it sounded a lot like me. I used to be optimistic, but then 'life' and 'experiences' got in the way, and I became pessimistic. My family doesn't understand at all. I was also abused - not the 'religious' thing though. Plus I take celexa too, and other meds.

This site is really good. The people here are wonderful - very supportive and non-judgemental.

As you probably found out, it helps to know there are people out there who have gone (or are going) through some similar things.

Keep writing, that helps too.
Oh, and thanks for sharing. Hope things'll get better for you soon.