We don't know where the host is. And one of us wants to leave and live an invisible life. A life where know one knows her. I have another who recently thinks it might be a good idea if he runs things except he gets mean and fowl mouthed and compulsive. Right now I am having trouble with him being in charge. I can't seem to find a convincing reason for him to not be in charge. We don't work anymore so he can be as abrasive as he wants because he don't care. In fact I think he likes it when people avoid him. It feels like he could take control at any moment. It makes me very uncertain. He was at last session and didn't leave. He is right here as I write this. I feel like crying. I wish I could.