Sadly I had to have my 14 year old Yorkie put down this past Saturday so I know the pain your going through. He had mouth cancer for the past 5 months or so and after 3 expensive surgeries and my broken heart I had to make the decision to do it. It didn't seem to get any better and he was having a hard time eating and began loosing a lot of weight. For me it is honestly better if I put up a mental wall and try and not think about him until I can accept and deal with it easier, time is a healer and I have become a master at blocking things out. It's very hard to for someone you loved dearly but I realize its something I must do, I hope and pray you find peace through it all and will be able to fall back on the love and good times you had and cherish.