Hello I hope things are going better with you at this time. The medication does not control you but the RIGHT medicaiton can help you feel safer and less paranoid and delusional, and help to control mood swings(anger outbursts) Highs and lows(depressive) moods. I am sure you feel somewhat concerned about how you feel that you may be communicaiton at a different level as others, and a lot of this reasoning will subside with the right therapy and medication. You are not alone it is just what happens with the disorder that you have, it wont last forever and try to get the help you need as soon as you can, so that you can feel safe in your surroundings. Take care sincerely Soidhonia