Hugs!
I often find that even though I don't lost time, and am aware of all the parts, when I'm in one zone it's like I don't even know how to feel, think or act any differently. Like when I'm an angry part, or depressed part, it's like I don't remember evern being happy or excited or peaceful. i can remember everythign that happened, but not what it felt like. I don't know if this is partly what you were talking about, but I DO understand being frustrated with the walls and barriers.