I harmed today quite badly hit a vein etc all sorted now though

I was worried that i had been doing quite well atm and feel generally happier which to me didnt relly make sense as to why i harmed so badly

I rung he local self harm team and she was saying that maybe because i havent been doing it as much and because i have been cutting for nearly 6 years that what i need to do has got worse to kind of achive the same results

I felt and feel really bad because it feels like a set back that i am sabotarging what i am doing well by harming myself

I feel really mixed up as i know in my heart that i am feeling better but it is all so scary and part of me wants to hold on to what i knew, that i am not a strong enough person to make these changes

I feel a bit lost and at odds with myself, moving forwards is so painful

A lost scared hurt and lonely
Lucy