I've heard about the 'brain zaps' before with certain meds. I can appreciate your hesitancy. After all, meds and therapy need to combine, together. Feedback, is certainly, something you need from therapy, and unfortunately, your experience didn't offer you that.

That said, regardless, of whether, your parents have narcissism, you sound the product of dysfunction. Kind of, the Adult Child thing. Whether that be, adult child of alcoholism or adult child of dysfunction. There's much out there, for self help and support groups, if that's something you desire for yourself.

I've often questioned, narcissism, with my own parents. Dad, more the npd side and mom, more the n 'style' side of the spectrums. Not, that narcissism, is the worst thing, in the world to have, it does have it's benefits as far as personalities, can go. It's just, being a child of, has it's own sets of ramifications and shapes, all of us, a little differently.

I've found peace, in my childhood. Taken a good, couple of decades, but certainly, working through my own stuff, was a lot of work and worth it.