yes i have to force myself to have a smile on my face when i go out cuz people %#@&#! me off so bad. im very paranoid & anxious. yesterday i know this girl was looking at me wondering whats wrong with me & it made me so mad. i mean what have i ever done to anyone. well besides my drunken tyrades i had when i was younger but everybody get over it already. i cant even go to church without being pissed off cuz i know everybody is talking about me & looking at me. i feel like a time bomb about ready to go off & i know its gonnna come at a time thats very inappropriate just like at the last job i had. oh that place was even worse than church. now everyone wonders why i stay in the house all the time. right now its for the best.