I feel a bit pathetic posting this. So many people are feeling pain due to real loss - after some1 they love has died.

My loss is just the end of a relationship.
I'm trying to grieve the loss of the best thing in my life, but I know that it's also brought up lots of old stuff that I can't handle.

It's just that i have no-one else to talk to. My friends just think i should move on. And whenever i try to express how bad i feel about it, how i blame myself they just say that it takes 2 so i shouldn't.

They don't understand that it was my fault. I ruined it all.
I'm hoping that someone here will understand.

I feel i've ruined the best thing in my life. And now i hate myself for it.

I let my depression bury me, so i had nothing to give to my gf. Plus i was drinkin too much, and wasn't being very nice when i was drunk. Finally she got tired of the way i was being and left me a few wks before christmas. I didn't see how i was being at the time, but now i do. And it's too late. I know i should have tried harder. Been a better gf to her. I didn't do enough. Now I feel like i've pushed away my soul mate & it hurts like hell, & I just want to hurt myself for it. I feel like I don't deserve love. That I ruined my one chance at happiness because I'm such a horrible, pathetic person.
And now I'm rambling, sorry.

I'm sorry if people think I shouldn't post this here - I know it's trivial really.