I was going to say, you aren't "creating" these things, they already exist in you/all of us. It's a fact that children/orphans who aren't physically picked up, touched, "cared" for, die. Why should that be different emotionally? We're built that way. It's no so much trauma re-enactment, I don't think, as a still "current" need in you. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to get better by being helped by your T, you'd be stuck re-enacting forever. The "problem" doesn't ever go away; we can't go back and have a happy infancy/childhood but we can get what we have been missing, both from others and ourselves. I think of it as being placed in a dark closet with a crack of light and getting "warped" trying to grow toward that light instead of "up". But, once you put the plant in a sunny window/plant it outside instead of the dark closet, it does fine and becomes the plant it's supposed to. It may not be possible to bloom where we're planted but I think we can replant ourselves where we'll bloom :-)