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Originally Posted by Seiya
I want opinions on this. I sometimes ignore red flags before dating someone. I am ready to try dating again and am talking to someone from an online dating site. Yeah I know, not the best choice ever, but it can't hurt to try it right?
Anyway, I have agreed to meet him and I'm having second thoughts. He made it clear from the start he has social anxiety, which I understand since I have some too. At first I thought it was cool that he is so open and honest. But now, I feel uncomfortable with how much he talks about it. He has brought it up in several emails now, which makes me wonder just how severe it is. I know he has friends and has a job and stuff like that, but I don't know. Would we be good for each other or pull each other down?
I got another red flag when he mentioned his upbringing involved super strict religious people, the type who think Harry Potter is evil. I don't know why but for some reason that gives me a bad feeling. Maybe because my own spiritual beliefs would be called evil by those people too and I don't know how much he was influenced by them.
I want to be understanding, since I have my own baggage too, but I don't know if this is a good idea. He said he is open to being just friends, so I guess I could meet and see if we could be friends.
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I don't think I am much help on this because my dating history is almost non-existent, but I have social anxiety and I have gone on first dates with guys who were shy like me. I have to say that it was kind of painful. Partly because I felt like I was looking at a male version of myself and projected my feelings onto him, and partly because the silences became increasingly uncomfortable as the night went on.
However, you seem like you don't have difficulties as severe as mine, so I would say to go meet him once, at least. As for his uber-strict religious upbringing, all I can say is people are complex, and you just can't know what he's like unless you meet him in person. I have a co-worker who is a hard-core born again (he doesn't even believe in celebrating Halloween because he thinks it's a celebration of the occult) but he's actually a very funny guy and nice to work with. You never know, this guy might have a sense of humor or a quirky take on it. Do you know what I mean?