I thought she was the person to be myself not a mask on. She also have bipolar. But every time i really really needed her , she would be nasty about me. Saying that i am over reacting and that i don't know what is really suffering, i know there is people with much bigger fears. She never confine in me just always how she was way back and i don't have a clue what suffering and bipolar an depressed really means. Yes i know i was wrong not to want to have coffee or a lunch or what ever with her. I am just very weird; one of my being fears is to meet face to face. I am better on the chatting stuff. I don't know why that is. So yes i know the friendship was maybe empty too her and i understands. Just how do you leave someone that you know is unstable at this moment? I am trying to write my T a letter this time expressing my feelings / thoughts i hope that would work out better. But maybe losing her is for the better. Yes i will try and change but if you don't except me the way i am then i think its better to just let go. The biggest fear of mine is the rejection. I am struggling my whole life to be a person on my one and not being compared to my sister ( she is mentally disabled). When i actually get it right then something else is not good enough. Sorry for all babbling on about my issues.