I can't stop balling.. not just crying..balling to the point that I can't breathe. Nothing is going right! Everything keeps crumbling. Every time something seems to be going right, it does a 1-80 and I end up on my face. Let me list the things:

1. No job- I keep applying but no one is calling me
2. Unemployment running out - 6 weeks left
3. Vocational Rehab- I can't even apply until my T signs off that I'm stable
4. Thyroid- I finally found a doctor who sees patients on a sliding scale, but they included my boyfriend's income (even though he doesn't give me money) saying that I benefit from his job. So they want me to pay $70/visit. I broke down in the doctor's office when she told me the fee. So much so that she dropped the fee to $45 for the first visit. She said we would go from there... (so somewhat good I guess)
5. I'm having horrible anxiety
6. I keep having horrible, uncontrollable crying spells
7. I checked my Food Stamps account (I get my benefits on the 1st) and instead of the $200 I usually get it was only $16! I called the main office and they told me that my case worker added my unemployment and they deducted it from my benefits. So I have $16 for the whole month. How am I supposed to eat on $16 a month?? She said if I could give proof once my unemployment ends they will "review my case at that time"
8. I called Mama to tell her (so I could talk it out and calm down). She screamed at me.. so that didn't help... at all.

I don't want this to sound like a pity party so I'll end by naming some things that I have good in my life:

1. My girls
2. My boyfriend
3. A supportive family (for the most part)
4. A safe place to live
5. I get to see my T and pdoc at no cost (Thank You God!)
6. My meds are affordable (so far)
7. I see my pdoc today and my T Monday