I apologize for that post. It was thoughtless and inconsiderate to cause unnecessary worry to people who care and aren't in a position to do anything. Thank you all for the hugs and support.
Poppy Princess I hope you feel better soon
H3rmit... that's just the way I am /shrugs. If I had been thinking clearer afterwards I would have come back and deleted the post.
Vossie42... it sounds like you've researched this as I have. If so then you know there are workarounds. But we don't need to get into the technical aspects of how to end your life effectively and painlessly.
I'll pick myself up and dust myself off and tighten the wheels as I've done before