g'day whoever reads this,just an update,I did a posting a while ago,and havent been on computer for ages(use library ones)so updating.I am really pleased with my progress on ridding the demons,(obviously not an over night job,the suckers have latched on all my life)but slowly with positive thought and knowledge of tiredness being a huge factor with the demons I am getting out of the downs without too much mental scarring.I choose not to take meds,I am type 2 and definately rapid cycling but actually want the highs which help me with my business plans,and motivation and of course the 6,000 thoughts at once are helpful once I get to decipher them,no wonder we get bloody tired I tell ya.Because of a severe 3/4 teenage yrs of depression and 4 suicide attempts,I find those years help me not go back to that,not to say the downs aren't doozies,but I became a chronic(20yr)compulsive gambler(3 yrs in feb,free of pokies,poker machines)and didnt feel all the depression I should have due to I know now the suicide yrs,thanks to a great counseller I have blocks in place to not go back to pokies,and that helps me know I can block out the bad thoughts,depression,memories etc.I will never go back to those days again,although a few times i've panicked,but talked to people(health team here in oz)etc.I don't recommend to anyone not to take meds,it is seriously hard work,but for me,for now,I need and want the ups,just a shame gravity throws in the downs.I am harmless,I dont think dellussional(arguable I know)but believe I can succeed with my art on the market,with the help of motivation.(ups)also have lost 20kgs(2.25pnds per kilo)and have 50 to go,but the ups help there too.I wouldnt say I'm great right now,but hanging in,just tired,but I will win this battle.All the best to you all,we are blessed and cursed with a ***** of an illness,but I am using the ups to achieve stuff.c yaz.thanks for listening.