ok, lets assume for a min I am the wife.... I have been threw this same senerio with my H. I have 3 kids.

These issues may not be the same as your wife's. Just sime idea's to get you headed in the right direction and asking the right questions.
1. I don't want to be missed with much in a sexual manner. I am a stay at home mom. If another requests love and affection from me I am going to go crazy. That is issue number one. I spend al day taking care of the needs of others. The one person who can help me comes home and wants affection to.

2. exhaustion. What can you do to help. Nothing turns a woman on more then a man running the dishwasher, folding clothes or running the vacuum.

3. sex doesn't happen with a woman's body, you have to make love to her brain first. If she feels your love emotionally then you will feel her love physicially.

4. Has there been any kind of past issues before you two met. I am jsut asking. I had been raped before my H and I ever met, and my family situation was not a good one and that left life time scars, which now after being married 19 years are being brought up with T.

5. Cheating is not the answer. It is a lie you will have to live with forever, or a horrible truth that will cause your marriage to end.

6. Postpartum depression doesn't just happen immediately after baby is born, it can happen later as well. Have you suggested T, marriage T or T alone. I wish we would have gotten T before we had been married for 18 years. The sooner the better. Waiting in my case has caused the issues we have to go on far to long.

7. Is she a stay at home mom or does she work. The work load could be to much or staying at home with no money could be to much. Money is a huge way to make one feel trapped.

Just a few suggestions.