I didn't read your list. No matter how many things you list as rationalizations for why it ws your fault, no one is to blame for cheating ever, except the cheater. period. NEVER. Being married and/or in an exclusive relationship means you're commited and will be faithful. In fact with marriage the vows include in sickness, health and til death. AND for better or worse. That is not just outside of yourselves but about you too, in other words, even if she/he doesn't always amount to the perfect spouse or SO, you are commited to the relationship first.

She made a choice to be an adulteress. Your faults are her scapegoat, that's all it is. Never give into that idea period.