I found out today my mother died. I feel nothing. No grief, no anger, nothing. She hated me and told me this every day of my life, as well as physically abuse me whenever she felt like it. She was a horrible mother towards me,but not towards my siblings. So...here I sit with my glass of wine and a television movie(Aliens, I live in the UK)feeling pretty good about life. There's just one thing. I feel awful about having no reaction. Am I a horrible woman? No. Am I sub-human? No. I'm grateful she's not around to hurt me anymore. I'm 57 years of age and I feel...free. Freed from her unprovoked rants. Freed from her verbal and physical abuse. That's probably how you and many of us here feel. For us having no reaction to the death of an abusive parent is normal. We don't have to justify our feelings...they just are as they are. It's an honest reaction to the past we suffered with these nasty parents. I say we mourned them already when they were alive. We grieved the loss of the abusive parent over their lifetime. Now that they're actually gone we have no more emotion to give. I shall pour me another glass, take a sip, smile and whisper,'' You can't ever never hurt me again.''