I don't know if it's just me or if this has any explanation, if it's connected somehow... so I thought I'd ask you guys, if you have the slightest idea. I'm happy to hear all your thoughts on this.

So, I'd say that in our system, we're largely co-conscious - I'm in charge but from time to time I get the feeling of someone else "peeking through". Like when we're triggered. I'll give you an example that's pretty common for us.

Having someone fighting is a trigger for us. My mom and brother fights quite a lot these days, or at least they have done so, it's calming down, thankfully. Anyways. In the situations where we're actually doing something and I have to be there and be "normal" and can't just walk away (which means I stay in the triggering situation), there's this thing happening.

Lets say that mom and I are talking. She's upset. Angry, or not caring about anything (it feels like). At those times I feel like there's an alter (called R to make it easier) with me in the background, to handle it. I'd say that R is a protector but also a cognitive one. Instead of crying or being pretty emotional which I would normally be if something triggering happened, I'll feel pretty numb. Also, I feel like my facial expression is changing - looking in the mirror I know I wouldn't really recognize myself. And here it is - the breathing. All of sudden without realizing it, I've changed my breathing. From breathing normally (for me), I go to breath much slower, and "calmer". But it isn't any deep breaths - they're pretty small, although they're slow.

Then when the trigger is gone and things are okay, I start to feel like myself again, my breathing being normal and so on, as it was before I was triggered.

Is there anything that you can relate to? I hope I explained it good enough for you to understand, I haven't written it down like this before. I'd be very happy if you wrote down anything that comes to your mind, about anything really - it doesn't have to do with the breathing, although that's what I'm wondering about. Just hearing that you relate (if you do) to what I'm describing overall (the co-consciousness), would be great.