Hey. Have you heard of DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)? It might be worth finding out if there is a program you could do in your region.

Alternatively... Could you ask your t if she has heard of DBT? If she has then maybe you could ask her if you can do that :-) If she hasn't then maybe you could ask her to find out about it because you would like to do that :-) The great thing about DBT is that you don't have to come up with treatment goals. They are all there and nice and provided. They aren't so terribly offensive... And the structure / provide the direction for the sessions because it sounds like your therapist is feeling a little lost...

My biggest hate is clinician's asking me 'what do you want to work on and how do you think I can help'.

(Car headlights on me and no matter what I say I'm about to be splattered).

Sounds to me that what you need is a therapist to take a little more of the direction and kind of say to themself 'well gee SI isn't such an adaptive thing to be doing this person must feel really very distressed at times'

What more to they need to know?

Sorry... I could have a grumble / gripe at this point. Because... This is reminding me of many years of struggles that I've had with therapists...

You aren't just pointless complaining...

Sounds like you feel really upset / ashamed / distressed at times :-(

> I wish i knew where this was going .... or at least what the heck is wrong with me

Maybe...
(maybe i'm projecting)
But maybe...

You just want someone to walk with you for a while?

If she doesn't get that then...

But then I'm really rather terrible at communication :-(