I've been married 19 yrs. my sex drive has unusually gone up in the past 2 yo. Even my H occasionally complains & says no.
My fantasies in the bedroom have become hardcore BDSM & I ve tried very gently to nudge my H in that direction but I'm getting tired & he's sticking to vanilla. I've recently just come out & said "I want it rough" & he couldn't respond. I was frustrated & he was confused. I've gotten him a book & highlighted several areas but he won't read the book. We talk but he gets...bashful? We try really hard to communicate w/ ea other.
I know this is all new & sometimes BDSM never makes it to the bedroom & I always thought that would be fine, but now I'm starting to feel very sexually frustrated. I've looked outside my marriage once & it lead me down a very scary, painful road. I know what I want, but others have their own agenda & sometimes take advantage of that.
So do I just ignore the BDSM feelings & hope they go away so to save the marriage? I'd rather live in misery than make my H uncomfortable about this. He's a good man & deserves so much more than what I give him.