I was sort of lucky during my childhood. It was ok to cry, or LOL, or just be dull. My father loved us but raised us based on fear of upsetting him. His approval was always important to me.

Now as an adult, well, you guys know about my marriage. I have a husband that is a master at crushing me. If I am happy; that is too happy for him, if I cry; he gets mad at me. If am I sad, that angers him too! I am not allowed to answer back to him without consequences, and if I express any type of emotion I put myself "at risk".

The safe way to go is going dead (emotion wise). He allows himself two states of mind, dull or angry. If I stay dull, most likely he'll do too, or if he explotes it won't be quite as bad as if I react to him with any, and I mean any type of emotion.

gab