Yes, it is absolutely possible to shut off your emotions for a long period of time. I should know, I've done it for more than 10 years of an abusive marriage, and then some. For me, shutting off my emotions was a defense mechanism. It got to the point where I didn't even know I was doing it. I would just go through life, through the daily routine of work, taking care of my marriage, showering, making dinner, holidays, everything, but I NEVER felt anything. I would just do, not react.

I could NOT get excited about Christmas, birthdays, vacations, nothing. I was just "there", existing, but hardly any emotions. I never cried, never got angry, never showed anything but joy and happiness - to show that all was well. I had two pets die a year apart. When they died, I cried for about 30 minutes then that's it, I moved on, no grieving, no nothing. I went on a 2 month cross-country trip of a lifetime with my husband - I couldn't even get excited about it. I have no emotions about that trip, other than empty memories. It got to the point where I didn't care about anything - I never got stressed, never got upset, angry, happy, sad, nothing.

Then one day, I had a severe accident while on a trip to visit a relative. As a result of the accident, needing surgery because of my injuries, and other things, I hit rock bottom. I was depressed, suicidal, borderline self-harm, in pure crisis mode. I sought professional help from a psychologist as a last ditch effort and through nearly a year of working together, he helped me realize that before the accident I was pretty much a robot, just going through life without feeling.

I always questioned what love was - I was married for a LONG time, but never "felt" love for my husband, my pets, my family, nobody. I kept telling myself how would I know what love is, I never felt it. I never felt sadness, happiness, angry, nothing. Then when I started working with my therapist, all that changed. I realized I can feel my emotions, I DO have them, and now I'm learning how to cope and contain them. It's hard because for so many years I ignored them, stuffed them away, pretended they didn't exist. My therapist said that you can't stuff your emotions away forever, eventually they will explode and surface. That's what happened to me. I've since learned that you HAVE to express your emotions, and if you can't then be kind to yourself and learn why or how to do so.

Now that I'm feeling my emotions more, I'm SO much happier, content, and joyful. My friends have told me they see the difference. I FEEL the difference. I still have a long way to go in feeling all emotions (I haven't really experienced my anger yet), but I know in time I'll get there.