I'm 21 engaged currently unemployed trying to figure out what to do with my life
I went into home schooling when I was in sixth grade I had one friend which now I am not very close to. My mother was my primary friend I went shopping with her did everything with her.
There are some unhealthy things when I was growing up but they were good parents I just suppose they were overbearing and I was completely co dependent on them
When I was young I slept in bed with them until I was probably ten binky til I was bout 8

I didn't wipe my own bum til I was 8 or so

Was very good at school but always discouraged to do things like sports or gifted classes always asked are you sure it will be a lot of time not very fun you can't quit sometimes I would say yes but later scared off from it and didn't
I was sorta pushed not to fill out for grants to continue college I was able to do college in high school but didn't follow through after I graduated

Was over fed and overweight until about 14 to which I took control and dramatically determined myself and made myself lose weight.

My father was very pushy to try things like food try these pickles mother no you won't like them I don't so I never ate any food she did which she has recently became Ill due to unhealthy diet at a young age but continues not to change it which is another subject.

The only main thing I've been able to is have boyfriends which my parents actually approve because they want grandchildren ASAP. They told me not to worry about jobs or career because I should be a stay at home mom.

Am I now engaged moved out of the house not far tho because we live rent free in a house my parents own the house which is right next door to them.
Which when I moved my mother came over constantly and pretty much did everything for me and went out with her ect. I started enjoying time to myself when she was gone and actually felt better when I accomplished things myself
She still persisted to help which I let her and went grocery shopping or went everywhere with her.

Then came to some retaliation. My fiancé pointing out that it was slightly unhealthy we had our ups and downs living together that relationship isn't perfect.

I told him of the upstairs of the building we live in is completely trashed with junk old clothes I had and never threw away because i might need it. It's like hoarders and I finally wanted to take action and work on cleaning it. My mother has a bedroom completely filled in her house like this and did it to the place we live in. I told him to put deadbolts on it which wasn't right to do behind her back but he did it for me and when she realized it she flipped out and then the separation between me and her started she talked badly on my fiancé that he was corrupting me and he had plans to put things up there and he was no good ect. Even tho it had nothing to do with him

I didn't talk to her for a week then eventually started talking to her but keeping her at arms length going to grocery store myself ect

Few weeks have passed and I gradually have started going on a weekly lunch with her but seeing her everyday for a little bit.

She is not satisfied and told my father and he confronted me and told me I need to go out with her everyday I tried explaining I wanted to discover and do things on my own and he or she did not seem to understand which I didn't really explain all of this to them until he told me that but it wasn't going anywhere and I didn't get to fully explain

I don't know how to communicate with them about all of this without being rude or mean so they understand better
I think maybe a letter? Is there something I should say to make them understand? They aren't horrible I love them. I just feel held back