Dear Aiuto, You are probably going to be upset with what I write too cause from what you wrote it does kind of sound like you get your feeling hurt to easily. Telling someone that they are their own worst enemy is not necessarily mean. Maybe you should take a look at your behavior.
Sorry, but that is what I see from reading this. If he has been helping you financially and been their for you then he must care. Maybe your behaviors have kept him from falling in love I do not know. But I would think you would appreciate him for helping as much as he has.
I am so sorry you lost your husband, that must have been very difficult especially since you have children. I dont know if it is because the anniversary of his death is sad. Or if you are still so devastated. I got that from the way you said plus my husband passed away (10 years ago). I am not trying to be rude or cold but if you are still grieving maybe you could join a group or see a counselor to help you get over those feelings. I am not saying you should not miss your husband but grieving after 10 years puts a lot on you and your kids.
Good Luck to you.