Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
Has T been able to help you integrate parts before your therapy comes to an end? I don't know anything about ifs, but it seems like you could be left feeling "in pieces" if she doesn't help prepare you?
Congrats on trying to hold out on checking too often on pc--I may need to try it too!
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We've never talked about "integrating my parts". I'm supposed to accept and have compassion for them, and then my Self is supposed to be able to take of them. I don't know why that hasn't worked. It could be because every time I see T, I never know if I will be triggered just by the way she looks. Last session when I talked about idolizing her, she said "I'm just a regular person." I keep thinking about that statement. I know it's true, but those parts don't! Maybe it's "just" transference, and I haven't worked it through completely.
It bothers me to be focused on her looks, and be attracted to her. She told me in the past that it's okay, even if she's a woman, but I still don't think it's okay. The whole situation upsets me, and I do need to get it talked out more before I terminate my therapy.