Loser? Hardly--you were incredibly smart and brave to take care of yourself by leaving. You didn't fail to resolve the feelings--he failed by not resolving his counter transference in an appropriate and ethical way for your benefit. The fact that he would swing from warm to distant with you shows he wasn't in control of himself and would not have been able to help you.

From what I understand, maintaining neutrality through a romantic transference can be appropriate. It serves to not intensify it, but also not leave the client feeling rejected. To respond in kind is, of course, inapropriate and unethical. For the T to terminate is a judgement call; I think there are times when that action can be appropriate, but not all times. A really secure and skillful T should have created a space in which any feelings, including romantic ones, can be explored, while not being indulged.

Other types of transference, even when counter transference is involved, can also be resolved: but it takes a skillful and stable T and a client who is willing to withstand the intense emotions involved. In the case of a parental transference and counter transference, for myself, I can say it's not easy, but it was ultimately the most beneficial part of therapy.