|
Nov 03, 2013, 04:11 AM
|
|
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Ultramar, what you've said is part of what I don't like about IFS. I think "parts" are always reflections of the adult self, positive and negative, and giving them separate status maybe makes it easier to conceptualize them, but can also lead to their fragmentation in application and to become a defense. Perhaps it works well for clients with firm self boundaries--maybe even too firm--but if there is any ambivalence about the adult self, I think you could very well be right that such an approach just muddies the waters.
|
I agree about the fragmentation issue. What concerns me too is that I have noticed people, at times, attributing aspects of themselves they do not like/are ashamed of to other/younger parts. So 'she' (i.e. the toddler) is needy (not 'me'), she (the teenager) is full of rage (not 'me'). I know this isn't always the case, though.
I think if someone does not have a strong ego, a strong sense of self and/or has a tendency to not own feelings/behaviors, it's likely to be counterproductive.
Rainbow, my feeling is that you need to find you and be you -and not through others, not through T's (though this can be accomplished, in theory, *in* therapy); I think this is in part what Winnicott was referring to with the 'false self' and I think this is why your pattern persists. I don't know what modality would help with this; but I think when you can be both whole and separate at the same time, it will be a big victory. But if you don't get there, that's okay too. You seem to have a full life, you're emotionally stable, you have family, friends, support. At the end of the day, it's a matter of what you want beyond this, if anything. And if T (or T's in general) make you happy, then no harm in that.
|