Wanted to reply yesterday but being new and all hit my 5 per day limit.

The author of "I hate you don't leave me" has an updated book - I read it once - being unofficially diagnosed it didn't seem to help so I ended up throwing it out

But I thinked it helped with my journey - it may help you in understanding?

The title is "Sometimes I act Crazy : Living with Borderline Personality Disorder"

Hope this helps.