suzy,I'm really sorry to hear that about your mum,that really is sad,must be hard for you mate.I've been dx as BP2,they say I would have either been in hospital or on the news if I was type 1,I had my hospital times in my suicide days,in my teens,which I think helps me today,I'm so scared to get that low again,although I've had a couple of scares but with more knowledge and working on the control side of things I can kind of cope or at least know when I catch up on sleep and not accept the down thoughts I'll come out of it.from reading up on BP I know I've had type 1 from time to time but without the auditory hallucinations,luckily.I know for sure if I didnt have the love and support of good parents,I maybe wouldnt be here today and I think I'd be a lot worse off.Shame though for parents I didnt get dx earlier.Dx in last 2yrs or so.At this stage and in the past I am of no danger to anyone or myself (promised my mum years ago,I'd never try again(suicide)so I intend to fight the battle of my life without meds,if at any time I am dangerous to others I'll take them without hesitation.good luck to you mate,have a good day.