Just wanted to post quickly to Rain as you said you wouldn't be back here until Tuesday, maybe you'll see this before then maybe not.

I have a problem with your T and IFS - she started out doing IFS with you and it seemed to be working, then she discovered a new therapy modality that she switched to and suddenly you're not doing IFS anymore. Which would be fine if that was helping you, but I get the strong impression that you're kind of stuck way back in your therapy when T withdrew the handholding and stopped working with the very parts she'd brought into your awareness.

I wonder if you asked her would she be willing to finish off your therapy by going back to using the IFS model? It so obviously fits what you need. And it's heartbreaking to read about how hard you're working to meet T's suggestions (such as keeping off here and staying away from facebook). Again I get the impression that you're doing it for her, rather than because it's what you yourself want or feel to be in your best interests. (Besides, I like reading your posts, selfishly I'd like to see more of you on here, not less .)

Don't mean to be critical about anything here, just wanting to let you know I'm still following your therapy journey, and sending you lots of support and hugs (((((((( Rain ))))))))))